My Blog

Mountain-made manhood

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 16:11:52 -0500

I think as long as I’ve been a dude I’ve liked explosions, fire and brimstone, gun-fights, knife-fights, western saloon showdowns with Clint Eastwood, Bank robbery chases, Heists and Hoodwinks, War re-enactments, lightsabers, laser guns and remote-control toys.

In exploring my weird fascinations, I’m reading a cool book by John Eldridge, called ‘Wild at Heart’. It talks in great detail on how guys are innately the war-mongerers, the soldiers, the double-crossers and the wilderness men. Guys are hard-wired for action, but manhood isn’t achieved by these things, it’s by rites of initiation--there’s got to be some sort of test involved. After the test, he’s forever changed, a living testament to his manhood and to his cause.

The Sambia of Papau New Guinea would mutilate boys of coming age with sharp sticks in their noses, to emulate a kind of male ‘menstruation’, marking him among his tribesman around the age of 5.

The Masai of Kenya are only awarded true manhood when they’re able to down an african lion with a spear and shield. Needless to say, some either returned a man, or not at all.

The Sioux indian tribe would discriminate male tendencies until ‘the hunt’ when young warriors could prove their ruggedness and dexterity in the field of battle against the ‘taunka’ or plains buffalo. A rite of passage of sorts.

I’m pretty sure God’s plan for bestowing manhood doesn’t involve me having to kill a lion, bear or buffalo or even shoving sticks up my nose--but it will involve something that tests me. It will be something that will probably make me uncomfortable, afraid at the time, bewildered, scared, exhausted, heartbroken and enthralled at the same time. Gotta give the guy credit--he knows my limits, and what i’m made of.

In the case of Moses, the guy probably wasn’t recognized as even a ‘man’ by his peers. Here was a guy who walked out on his enslaved countrymen--Forsook his livelihood, traded his princely tassels for a tunic that reeked of sheep, roamed around the desert for awhile and wound up with a speech impediment and with some dude named ‘Jethro’ taking care of sweaty sheep (and strangely enough, his seven daughters...SWEET).

Then one day, at the bottom of Mount Horeb, God calls him with a light on the side of the mountain, and Moses follows. We pretty much know the story, but God instructed him that he was going to be the one to go to Pharaoh of Egypt and lead the israelites out of slavery, and into the promised land. Once again, the stuttering Moses probably though up a thousand ‘Why me’s?’ and ‘What if’s?’ God had a grander picture in mind, and was already testing his manhood.

A passage in Micah spoke to me:

Micah 6:6-8
“6. With what shall I come before the Lord and bow down before the exalted God? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? 7. Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? 8. He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

What is required of me? Act Justly. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly. A test? Dunno, only God does. I’ll come back a man, or probably not at all...

Red was here...

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 00:10:09 -0500

I love movies, especially good ones. One of my favorites was “The Shawshank Redemption” where a young Andy Dufresne, an intelligent banker is tried and sentenced for a double-homicide he didn’t commit, and in the end it tells a powerful story of deliverance and perseverance.

The movie is told in 3rd person, from Red, one of his cell-mates, who at first ridicules Andy, but later befriends him. He assists Andy in breaking out of prison, but not before Andy teaches prisoners to read, write and pass their high-school equivalency exams--even set up a library inside the prison.

One of the most memorable parts of the movie was when Red gets parolled from prison. He’s much older, and tries to cope with everyday life, hold down a menial job and contribute back to society. His struggle is that his prison life has ‘institutionalized’ him and he feels trapped in the old life, so that even if he is free, he’ll never feel free.

I think about how God has set us free through the gift of his son. Paul talks about this in the book of Romans...

Chapter 8
1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man,[d] 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit...

I know this scripture is often overused, and often misinterpreted. What Paul is trying to say is that while we were on our ‘parole’ review, we were still in sin. The fact that we have to answer to the ‘law’ means that our mortal selves were less than perfect, and Jesus was the ultimate atonement.

Life is a precious thing--it can also be a choice we make over other things, like death. I choose to ‘live’ by taking care of my body, my relationships and my talents. One of my favorite lines in the movie is spoken by Red, at the depths of his desperation, who says ‘It’s time to get busy livin’, or get busy dying...”

Man, that’s intense. According to God’s word I can CHOOSE to live by the spirit of life, God’s given me the freedom to do it. Through Christ, grace and his abundant faithfulness, he’s condemned the sinfulness in me. What reason do I have to stay ‘parolled’ in my sinful nature? Sure there are days where I feel ‘institutionalized’ by my sinful nature--i want to act aggressive towards my enemies, I want to give in to anger, lust, laziness and greed. At the moment of desperation, I pray I’ll choose wisely.

Red had it right. Time to get busy :)

Why guys aren’t dating you (and into gaming, sports and just being a guy)

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 12:38:15 -0600

It’s ironic how sometimes we as human beings tend to oversimplify things we’ve done as least once, while forgetting the current conditions of how we accomplished it in the first place. I learned to ride my bike with my dad helping me keep the handlebars straight. I learned how to fish with my Grandpa telling me when to reel the line in. I learned how to get along with women by dating them and having them tell me what they like, dislike and need from relationships.

Or so I thought.

<rant>

I wake up every morning in my bed alone, and by choice. After witnessing 2 messy divorces from friends in the past year, I don’t really think about committing to a girl at all. My reasoning? I’m not motivated to measure up to the standard, and I need them to realize this. At first I thought it was just me, but after looking (and asking around), have stumbled upon a band of brethren with whom I share these values/virtues of ‘not caring’ about measuring up.

So what’s the standard?

This is it. 4 forty-something women; bold and beautiful, devoted to each other, career-oriented, sexy and alluring, passionate, keen on fashions and trends, hip and devilishly witty, and culturally the worst thing to happen to a normal guy who has any hope of finding Ms. Right.

“It’s not that I’m LAZY, Bob...it’s that I just don’t care!”, quotes icon Peter Gibbons from the office cult classic “Office Space”. Somedays I feel like this. I just don’t care. I’m highly motivated by several things--God, my job, spending time with my friends and family, the web, sports, sushi, good hygiene, the outdoors, fast cars, networking, new culture and live music.

I like hanging out with girls, don’t get me wrong, but when it comes to dating them I consistently find myself asking the question...is this worth all of the effort? I feel like women are replacing men as the caretakers, the leaders, the thinkers and the motivators and most of the women in the culture are adopting this belief....why do they need me anymore? It feels kind of “disarming” to be honest, and I don’t like it.

This brings me to ‘the rules’ of dating a girl. I’ve dated enough of them to feel comfortable reciting them:

1. Be assertive in asking them out. If she says no, move on and keep a good attitude. If she says yes, it’s probably because she thinks you might be fun and might want to get to know you--not marry you.
2. Always call when you say you’re going to call. Period.
3. If you forget to call them, apologize and refer to rule number 2.
4. Be a gentleman, don’t assume she wants the same thing as you do up-front. Give her room to breathe and get comfortable before trying to get close.
5. Offer to pay for EVERYTHING. this goes along with #4.
6. Smile and have fun. Get her to talk about her interests and try to connect with her on some level.
7. LISTEN. This also goes along with #6. Listening means you care about what she said earlier, and hold it in some level of regard.

I’ve probably violated (or forgotten if a girl is reading this) one or many of the preceding rules at some point in my adult life, but it’s because I’m a human, and I make mistakes. All guys have. We do our best to save face, move on if it wasn’t meant to be and stay optimistic about things.

Today with more technology replacing real-life social communications, guys and girls are motivated more than ever to indulge in gaming and extra-curricular entertainment, JUST TO AVOID THE DATING GAME. According to “TheFrisky” 20 percent of Women have dumped a guy over video games. I understand no woman ‘likes’ the idea of having to compete with video games, but guys are especially vulnerable to this, because we see them as fun ‘outlets’ to relieve stress when we can’t spend time with you, and sometimes we DO have a tendency to take them too far.

This t.v. spot pretty much says it all.

I see myself as a hardworking, intelligent good-looking guy with minimal baggage and a great personality. I’m also a dude, and dudes dig stuff like video games. Relationships take time, and I’m willing to put in the time if I see a benefit (and I’m not talking about getting intimate). Benefits come in small packages, with little notes attached, saying “We care about you”. What I’m not willing to do is the following:

1. Chase you unnecessarily. It’s 2010 ladies. If a guy calls you more than once, he likes you. Stop being dimwitted and give a little. This means it’s OK to call us if you want to hang out--we’ve got enough distractions to keep us occupied without you.
2. Ask you out, only to be stood up. Luckily, I’ve not had this done to me, but know guys who have. I realize it’s a technique some girls will use to find out if a guy ‘really’ likes them, but I think it’s totally sick and twisted. I would expect any rational guy who has this done to him to move on and never call you again. To any woman takes delight in doing this to a man; get over yourself--you’re not that important.
3. Attend ‘tryouts’ with all of your friends. If YOU think enough of me to give me a chance, don’t grade me according to what YOUR FRIENDS think. This indicates you are clearly insecure, and need continual re-enforcement from them. The truth is that out of all of your friends, at least one of them will find something marginally wrong, and will devote ample effort in convincing you and them that ‘he’s bad for you’. So, learn how to think for yourself, and realize that your opinion matters.

To any woman that has read this and realize that it doesn’t apply to you, God has created you to be much more than this (my secret belief all along)--keep on doing what you’re doing. My hope is that there is a caring man in your life who sees these things and is ready and willing to cherish and keep you.

To the others, I’m sorry. At some point, I’ll probably frustrate you, or make you madder than hell. I’m a guy, and I know my place on this earth. I choose my battles and my friends wisely, and trust God for understanding with the things I’m incapable of doing.

</rant>

Penn’s Hamburgeoisie...

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:09:13 -0600

I suppose Rick would kill me if he saw this picture of him ‘chowing-down’ on a MIGHT-EE-FINE Penn’s hamburger on the interwebz, so I’ll change his name to “Richard” for his protection...

So Richard and I are taking a break from the swing of things to go run an errand for his wife (we were going to get a set of keys if I remember correctly) and stop to get some lunch. I recommended Penn’s, an old-timey hamburger diner in downtown Decatur. What was to ensue was a festive parade of hot cholestorolly goodness, but great burgers nonetheless.

Penn’s Hamburgers opened in 1927 and serves burgers comprised of about “70% ground beef, 30% bread”. As long as I’ve gone there, i’ve ordered plain burgers, but the brave go “all the way” (this includes raw onions).

All of this happens for about 2 bucks. The best places are the ones that are the “holes in the wall” restaurants. Rarely will I ever make a trip to Penn’s on a regular lunch break, and only then if one of my co-workers hasn’t been broken in yet--they’re totally coming with. So we know that must have BURGAR = Penn’s FTW!

Next time, I’m going all the way...